The new page!!!

HI, I just wanted to let you know that I also have a new page here:

http://chiaracerinotti.tumblr.com

Yu huuuuuu! :)

Summer is gone.

I spent all August far from home, lost in parties, train rides and ceramic.
In a way I was planning to come back and be so full of creative energy and positive thoughts to post here but I was wrong. I came back weak and nostalgic, empty in a way that I could not foresee.
I took many many pictures and I will start posting some of them today. The strength is coming back and I just need to focus again.

The main event of summer 2013 was my trip to Cervo, an amazing village on the coast of Galicia. I was there for a 3 weeks seminar organised by the amazing people of SARGADELOS.

I will take some more time to post on that, first here are some images of what my walk to the workshop was like.

Adelaide and Olivia.

Yesterday my little friend Olivia turned 2 and she was finally old enough to play with the rabbit doll I made her with my mum and sister!
Here are some pictures of the Adelaide.

REAL jobs.

One of the things I really hate about the world we live in is the fact that despite how much effort and passion you put in your art it is not considered a job if you don't make a lot of money out of it.
This way you always end up spending a lot of energy explaining to your family or friends what you do on a daily basis to be able to proof that you work as much or even more hours than they do.
I have always been bad at selling myself and I always put others' before me but I am really fed up with having to defend myself to proof that I am not lazy or just making time because I don't want a real job. Do I need at least a part time job for a steady income at the moment? YES Do I need a REAL job because I am scratching my belly all day long on the sofa? NOOOOO. I am doing my job.... I am just not making enough money!!!!

Lately in ceramic...

I have more that I haven't photographed yet but these are some of the pieces I  made lately.

The beginning and the end of an obsession.

This obsession began a while ago, I was far from Italy as I had been for a few years and I realised that the only connection I had left with my best friend was her blog and what she wrote in it.
I missed her terribly and was still asking myself what I did to make her wanting to forget me. Every time I switched on my computer I checked her blog and hoped to find an answer. I hoped to find a new post,  to see what she was up to, to see if she was doing well.

And the obsession had begun.

 I couldn't honestly avoid doing it, every time I was online I was checking it, I was obsessed with the idea that she might have had a reason not to want me anymore in her life and I was feeling a big fat hole in my heart. Then one day I was reading her blog and I started crying, I felt so sorry for myself, so insecure and pathetic.
I suddenly realised that what I was doing was a desperate act of finding a way back in her life as I was not ready to give her up. I also finally got that people move on for different reasons and there is nothing we can do to change their mind.
This obsession ended like it started and I did what I was expected to do. I moved on.
I am writing this down for myself because I often fall into the dark zone of nostalgia and do stupid things...

This above is an etching I did a while ago with one of my beloved Mr. Fish characters.

Fiesta de los gallos.

Breakfasting.

The beauty of long walks.

I am enjoying a lot walking around with my camera, capturing the light and all those silly things that inspire me once I am back in my studio working. Spring will soon turn into Summer here on the coast and I am really looking forward to make picniques and have evening dinners by the sea or in the natural park behind my house, surrounded by thyme and rosemary plants. :)

New houses.

The house we moved in is far from perfect but is pretty close to the house I was dreaming of. The first few weeks were harder than expected, the cleaning was overwhelming and stressing but now that we have been living here for over 3 months I am loving it.
In Easter my parents were over for a visit and we celebrated it with a lunch in the garden, I baked a Pasqualina tart with spinach, ricotta and eggs. I painted Easter eggs and we went to pick flowers in the forest nearby. The strawberry cake is not from the same day but turned out really good and perfect for a spring lunch.
These little houses are at the end of the garden and were originally used to wash clothing, hold pigeons and believe it or not, in one of them there is still a shower. :)
Since spring began we started working on a small vegetable patch and planted tomatoes, cucumbers and courgettes. If the weather gets better this week I also would like to plant some aubergines, peppers and salad. I will soon post some of the pictures of my extensive basil plantation, and all the new flowers. Have you already started working in your garden? Which flowers did you choose?

New Lists.

Happy package in my letterbox today. I ordered a set of watercolors and they have finally arrived. It looks real pretty and can't wait to use it. :)
I am making lists again, things to do, magazines and editors to contact, projects to finish and priorities.
I am also mentally making lists of things I no longer want to upset over, far too many times in fact, I get upset over silly things that I cannot change. I am working on that. Don't we all have far too many things in our head that prevent us from concentrating on what it is really important?
I would really like to clear my head and move forward, no more getting upset over the past or all the choices that others made for me. Moving on.
I am working on some new ideas I would love to realize in ceramics and I am really looking forward to show you some of the new pictures I took. Maybe tomorrow?
I would like to make the most of this 2013 all about art.

Look at that shadow on the wall.

It is so special when you first move into a new house and get to know the light.
Being winter the light is always hitting the coloured walls in many different ways, it goes from the light blue kitchen walls to the orange-red entrance and the sage sitting room. I am enjoying this moment very much, listening to the wind blowing through the trees and watching the neighbour's cat hunting under the big yellow daisy's bush. Almost as Goldielocks I am trying every chair, having tea in all the different corners and imagining how much I will enjoy sitting outside this spring.

You can call me home.

One week ago we have moved into our new home. I spent a lot of time over the past months looking for it, looking for a space where to set my new studio, have a garden and enjoy nature more.
The beginning has been hard and tested us a fair bit but I am glad that the potential we saw on the first visit is still here.
The village is only 30 minutes away by train to Barcelona and the house is an old masia, with  a fireplace and a woodburning stove in the studio.
I have many new ceramic pieces and etchings to show you but I am first trying to figure out my new routine.
My 2013 resolutions include "To enjoy being alone and not fear it" and " To believe in myself more than I believe in others".

With that in mind I wish you all a good 2013!

Dreaming...

I had a bunch of things I always could count on, a few friends, a few strong deep relationships.
They broke down. Maybe time, maybe me, maybe them.
This is a very grey fall here in Cataluña and for the very first time since I finished my degree I am doing nothing but drawing, painting, sculpting with ceramic, using the pottery wheel, making etchings, taking pictures. I am trying hard to give love back to the only one thing that is ALWAYS on my side, art.
I still cannot stop thinking about all the great people I feel I have lost on the road but then I wake up in the morning and have only one wish: create. My head is wondering and my creativity is going strange places.
I had a terrible nightmare last night, I dreamt that I was the chosen to be Satan's prophet, his left arm. I was there with a wounded Jesus, drinking shots of something that tasted like Bailey's with dark red blood, the blood of the devil. I was in a church full of lit candles and suddenly I decided that no matter the amazing "job offer" I was not ready to accept it and I took Jesus back to his destiny, to be killed but then also resurrect and be the superstar in so many people's life.(?!?)
I woke up and of course I could no go back to sleep.
I am almost always lucky enough to remember my dreams but this one was particularly extravagant, I might admit...
I have no idea of what it means but when I was having breakfast I had a thought...Is it possible that all the great friends in my life left me behind because they got a glance of what is in my head?!?

A while ago.

Travelling will keep you young.

We just came back from a road trip to Asturies and I am already missing it. Even if I know the weather is far from being that nice everyday of the year I am starting to wonder what it would be like to live there. Somehow the landscape and the people manage to make me feel immediately at home...

Where are you hiding?

I think I deserve to know.

Life Goes on...

2012, lets try to see the glass half full this year, eh?

Some days, just before Christmas.

It has been a very strange couple of months, I felt really bad for many different reasons, kind of unhealthy and unwell. I came to realize that I always hand over the achievement of my happiness to the people around me and I did not feel very proud about it. What I mean by this is that I am always waiting for someone else to make me happy, someone to do stuff I like with, almost like doing them alone would not be as much fun. Suddenly over the past days I realized that the reason I should do things is because I like them and not wait around for anyone to do stuff or feel happy. I am always waiting for people to do what I would like them to do but it does not really work that way. By building up expectations I ended up mostly disappointed on several occasions and this should have taught me better a long time ago. If I want to bake I should do it at my terms, my pace, my like. The same for all my free time. I should really learn how to give credit to myself and appreciate to be with someone that really understands me, or at least tries... me again.
I am not saying that people are useless and not worth it, on the contrary. I should appreciate sharing time with friends for what it is and not try to make it what I feel it should be to be perfect. By doing this I did a couple of more things over the past days. As soon as my head started working again without the cloudness of the painkillers, I started doing what I wanted without waiting for someone to do it with me. I know how silly some thoughts seem by the outside but this realization could have saved me so much trouble every time I asked myself: why I cannot find some friends that want to do all the thinks I like? I was here, all this time and I was never enough... maybe now it will change a little.